Dear Families, 

This week your student learned about Joking, Teasing and Bullying. 

We’ve all run into situations that have made us feel uncomfortable, embarrassed or even targeted. In this technological age it is not uncommon for students to communicate or gain information via social media and bullying is definitely a topic of conversation. It’s important for students to know the difference between joking, teasing and bullying as well as how to feel empowered to stand up for themselves. 

Joking: Someone says or does something unintentionally hurtful (may have thought it was funny).

Teasing: Someone says or does something intentionally hurtful but they stop when asked. 

Bullying: Someone says or does something intentionally hurtful and they keep doing it even after they’ve been asked to stop. 

Bullying consist of 3 components:

1- Unfair: Someone has more power over the other

Ask yourself: 

-Is someone taking power over me? 

-Are they trying to hurt me on purpose?

2- One Sided: Only one to the other, not both ways

Ask yourself: 

-Do I have any part in this? 

-Am I doing something to flip their lid too? 

-If I was in their shoes, how would I feel? 

3- Consistent: Repeatedly over time and after being asked to stop

Ask yourself: 

-Is it something that keeps happening over time?

-Have I asked an adult for help in solving this? 

Bullying is someone having power over another. Don’t give someone power over you! We can’t control what others say or do but we can control how we react to them. Don’t be the Jack in the Box. You can choose to pop out and flip your lid for everything, which only continues the conflict or you can choose to take back your power. 

YOU are in control. If you don’t like something, say so. Others cannot read your mind, so it’s important for you to communicate what you need. If someone treats you in a way that feels disrespectful:

-use the School wide “Stop Phrase” = “Please Stop ____. I Don’t Like That.” 

-then ignore and walk away

-if the person stops, move on with your day

If you use the School wide Stop Phrase and the person does not Stop: 

-try another one of Kelso’s Choices

-if you need support, tell an adult, “I’m having a problem with ___. I asked her/him to Stop and

she/he did not”

It’s everyone’s job to stop bullying from occurring by: -Being a kind person
*Treating others the way they want to be treated

-Stand up for yourself
*If you don’t like something, say so
-Stand up for others *You have the power to help someone else

If you observe an unkind act or someone using the Stop Phrase and the person doesn't stop, you have choices: 

-YOU can tell them to STOP

-Ask the upset person to go with you and leave the area 

-Comfort the person by saying "I'm sorry that happened. That wasn’t kind"

If you still feel concerned about a situation and you don’t feel you can resolve it on your own, ask an adult for help. Adults are unable to help you if you don’t let them know you need help. Tell the adult when this happens so it can be addressed right away. 

Childhood is a time for learning and growth, we’ve all done something we shouldn’t at some point. However, it’s important to take these opportunities to learn and grow. 

So, if someone asks you to Stop, you Stop and we all move on. 

An additional part of learning and growing is working through restorative justice with students. It’s important for students to understand how he/she may have affected others and what can be done so everyone can move forward. Conflict resolution means that everyone involved: 

-Identifies specific actions I took (choices I made)

-Understands how that made others feel

-Takes Ownership, Accountability and Responsibility for the choices I made

-Communicates what I need moving forward

-Commits to repairing the choices I made (apology (verbal or written), mediation,

fix/clean/replace something, etc.)

-Agrees to make different choices in the future 

-Follows through with any additional consequences of the choices I made