Dear Families, 

Through Kelso’s Choices, students are learning what to do when conflict arises. 

Kelso’s Choices curriculum provides students with the tools to solve problems they may encounter. When faced with a challenge, we often have heightened responses. We move out of our Green Zone and into the Blue and Yellow Zones. If we do not solve the problem and use coping strategies to help us manage these emotions, we can Flip our Lid and become completely out of control (Red Zone). Kelso’s Choices teaches students what to do when faced with a problem so they are better equipped to manage the situation and stay in their “Thinking Brain.”
 

There are two types of problems. Big Problems and Small Problems.  -Big Problems mean *someone is hurt

*something is dangerous

*go directly to an adult for help

-Small Problems mean

*no one is hurt

*the situation is not dangerous  

*I have the ability to solve the problem using Kelso’s Choices (problem solving strategies)

There are 9 strategies students can use: 

-Go to Another Game -if you don’t like what’s happening, it’s not fun, someone’s not playing fair leave and go to another game. 

-Talk it Out -if you’re upset with someone or they’re upset with you, talk it out. Talking it out means expressing how you feel and what you need while also listening to how the other person feels and what they need. 

-Share and Take Turns -if you both need the same thing, agree to share and take turns. Use polite words to ask for something and wait until the person is done using it to give it to you. 

-Ignore it -if you don’t like what someone is saying or doing, get it to stop by ignoring it. Act like you don’t see or hear it, even though you do. This is often made easier by turning or moving away. 

-Walk Away -you are in control of you and if you don’t like what’s happening, walk away. You do not need to stay anywhere you’re not comfortable being. End the conflict by walking away. 

-Tell them to Stop -you have the power to speak up for yourself. If you don't like what’s happening tell them to Stop. Others may not know you don’t like something unless you tell them. It’s ok to speak up for what you need. 

-Apologize -Sometimes we make mistakes and part of making a good choice is fixing the problem. A sincere apology goes a long way. Conflicts often arise because someone feels wronged. Acknowledging your part by saying sorry can lead to conflict resolution. 

-Make a Deal -sometimes it can be hard for individuals to agree on things. When this happens, making deals can help both sides to feel heard and respected. When deals are hard to decide, rock/paper/scissors-one and done, can usually do the trick. 

-Wait and Cool Off -When we’ve gotten so upset we Flip Our Lid, we are not in a place to access our “Thinking Brain,” when this happens the first Kelso’s Choice we need to use is Wait and Cool Off. This gives our brain and body time to relax and calm down. We can also use coping strategies to help. When we are back in our Green Zone, we can use other choice to fix the problem such as talk it out or make a deal. 

Students learn that they have the power to handle conflicts that arise. If they try a problem solving choice and it doesn’t work, they have the ability to try another, or another. However, if they ever need help with a problem (tried multiple choices and it’s not working or something uncomfortable/inappropriate has occurred) they can always GO TO AN ADULT for help. It’s helpful to say: I’m having a conflict, I’ve tried these choices, this is what happened and I need help solving it.